Developing an Empathetic Eye Through Travel

Episode Transcript

Kelly:  [00:00:00]Welcome back to Let’s Talk About Skills, Baby. The podcast where we discover what skills can help you live your best life. I am your host Kelly Ryan Bailey, and each week I chat with inspiring visionaries about the skills that make them successful. You’ll get a firsthand account of how they develop those skills as well as their innovative approaches to improving skills based hiring and learning around the world.

Now let’s talk about skills, baby.  This week I’m joined by Kyra Assibey-Bonsu, I’m really hoping that I got that pronunciation. Correct? Kyra, we’re so thrilled to have you here. Hey, how are you?

Kyra:  I’m good. How are you? And you were, you were like 98% there. You’re all good.

Kelly: Okay, awesome. It was so close. One day I’m going to get this down. [00:01:00] So, let me go ahead and introduce Kyra for everyone listening in today. After nearly eight years and living abroad as a solo Black female in Argentina, Ghana, India, and Spain, Kyra believes storytelling provides everyone with the ability to empathize and understand the marginalized and unheard voices that are not commonly foregrounded in media, history books, and beyond.

She currently has a great podcast about the stories of emmigrants and immigrants from across the globe called No Country For Moving, which she uses as a teaching tool on panels about identity, oral storytelling, and podcasting techniques. She is also a board member of Blackspace, an organization that utilizes the BlackSpace Manifesto for neighborhood design strategy in Black and Brown communities for customized workshop training for schools like Syracuse University and Cornell University.

So excited to jump in [00:02:00] on this and just because we just mentioned it, Kyra, I feel like I want to hear what this BlackSpace Manifesto is? If you don’t mind.

Kyra: Sure! I’ll definitely plug it cause I’m super proud of it. It’s basically, it’s a toolkit that we use for when we work with partners as well as with one another.

And it’s a way in which you are walking in empathy and being cognizant of the spaces that you occupy. If you’re a planner, if you’re an artist, if you’re an architect or just a regular Joe , it has 14 different principles and those principles are things like cultivating wealth, black joy and black excellence, as well as things like create circles not lines.

Which means that we work in a way in which we are inclusive in a more grounded, circular structure in West hierarchical.  Then we also have a few other principles that are incredibly impactful and we give these panels and we have these discussions with city and state local governments.

And also with like stars as [00:03:00] well.  Using the toolkit and then actually using it or helping those people that we are talking to to use it as  a way to bolster their communication strategy, when they’re working on projects and campaigns. It’s picked up a lot in the past year and we’ve noticed that there’s just been this massive shift in how people are acting in the business world as well as in their day to day. So 

Kelly: Is this only available in certain regions or is this like available anywhere?

Kyra: It’s available anywhere. We’re virtual but additionally we have affiliates in Indianapolis and Atlanta.

We started out in New York City. It started off as a brunch club and we also have it in hopefully also in like Seattle, California, a bunch of other places, but we’re expanding pretty rapidly. Our board members have also given some speeches in places like Rwanda and Africa.

So it’s, the aim will be global. That’s what I feel.

Kelly: Yeah. That’s so amazing. I absolutely love it. Well, let’s take a step back [00:04:00] for a minute because I want to hear more about your journey. It obviously sounds like you’ve had some really exciting adventures. So tell us a little bit about how these travels and sort of like your journey and what led you to what you’re doing today.

Kyra: I think from a very early age, I’ve always just wanted to learn more about other cultures. I had this neighbor who had this awesome map in her house and no kids, her and her husband and they would just travel everywhere and then she put like little points on the map. And I just remember going over all the drop me off at her house and was like, this is what I need to do.

I was like, this needs to happen. And I don’t know how. So from an early age that makes Encyclopedia Britannica in my house, like reading about different cultures. And it helped that my undergrad was about international relations and Spanish and I was sociology focused.

And so I was often just like socio-cultural and political aspects were big for me. I studied abroad in this town called Alcalá de Henares in [00:05:00] Spain, and it was fantastic. I have like a very immersive Spanish experience unlike a lot of people who travel abroad.

And then after college, I went to India for a few months with an internship, with an NGO, and I was just like no experience I’d had before. I’d gone to Ghana, but I’d never been to Asia. And I was by myself and had to figure out my housing and getting to work and it was just like, you realize India is large, but when you step off the plane and you see all these people, and it’s just like, I was like, Oh my God, this country is massive.

 Kelly: I think of like the strength and resilience to be able to go there, to go anywhere by yourself and to figure this all out. I mean, I think of this just from a female perspective beccause I know how it feels to be vulnerable. Were you scared?  

Kyra: Terrified. I was terrified. You also read about traveling alone as a woman and how unsafe [00:06:00] it is and, and how you have to be hyper-aware and these are all true, but it is something also to recognize.

Just that America is an incredibly  dangerous nation. The violent crimes here are random and very sporadic, and not to say it doesn’t happen to other countries, but I feel like in India, I knew that I just needed to be aware. And in other countries I just knew it was like, okay, you have to be more aware because this is not your home.

It’s like, this is your temporary home, even if overall home, you are still a woman and just being cognizant of that and understanding how to walk in spaces. And also making friends, making sure that they know you so they’re like, Hey, how are you? Like, this is what’s happening because you’re not connected with the community yet.

Kelly:  So building relationships is sort of a big thing for you?

Kyra: It’s a huge thing for me. And it doesn’t take much time. How’s your day? Oh, it’s good. And then they’ll remember you, that’s like people they already know, you may not look for are from the [00:07:00] culture, but they are more inclined to interact with you because you did one thing by asking them how they were.

Kelly: Right. It’s like common kindness. That’s so nice. So you get to India, it’s super big you’re trying to figure this all out. What else?

Kyra: I go into this apartment that is way overpriced, but I come into an apartment with people from Colombia and China and Turkey. And I was like, okay, well, this is interesting.

The program I was in is very international. So I knew it was going to be an international group, but I was like, this is exactly what I’m looking for. And there are people I’m still friends with to this day. We visit each other in various places and we’re definitely connected. I’ve gone to their countries and visited them and they haven’t been here yet though, but might be awhile.

I know right, we

Kelly: don’t know. What was this internship?

 Kyra: It’s like a student run organization, I found it through like internet digging.

Kelly: I’m sorry, what was it called again?

Kyra: AISEC. [00:08:00] A I S E C.

Kelly: No, I haven’t heard of that.

Kyra: Yeah. And I’m wondering if it’s still around because it’s been a while, but there are so many organizations that offer internships abroad.

It’s just as so much of looking for it and applying. There’s also all these fellowships, even more than there were when I was applying for them. It was a short time, a couple of months, do what I wanted, and then when I was there I interviewed to go to Spain to teach which was great.

I went to Spain pretty much directly afterwards, which was fantastic.

Kelly: Wow. That’s amazing. So do you feel like you learned so much in, I’m guessing it feels like probably a short period of time, by going and experiencing in a different location, different culture.

Kyra: Absolutely. In that period of time, it was so transformative because I was constantly challenged with things like transportation. There was a language barrier, I don’t speak [00:09:00] Hindi or hundreds of other dialects in India. Just like adjusting to the culture.

And then going to Spain, I studied abroad there, not the same as living there. I realized how much that program like supported me when I had to set up my banking and a bank account, which was a nightmare.

It was not easy. And also when you feel like you speak Spanish, but they start saying words that you’ve never heard before and it’s quick. And then you’re also trying to navigate work and doing that. Then maybe at some point you don’t really like the school you’re working at or wherever you’re working.

So you’re applying for jobs, but you need to translate your resume to Spanish. Then they’re like, well, you don’t really have much experience besides this. And I’m like, “but I’m here anyway, like, why not hire me?” Like, we need you to do this. So that was my dance in Spain a lot because I worked in education, all through the government, and I wanted to do more and I found it almost like impossible to find.

[00:10:00] Kelly: Did you feel like you needed to be part of the community to find work? Or what do you feel like the reason might’ve been?

Kyra: To find work, they just weren’t sponsoring. And unemployment was like most people who are around 30 years old, were still living at home with their families. So it was very topsy turvy, and for years I stayed though because the quality of life was great. I was making basically the equivalent of what a doctor makes.

And I had all this vacation time, so traveled all through Europe, went to Morocco, did all the traveling in Europe. It was fun when I made friends and then I kept in touch with those friends who live in different spaces. It’s just, Europe is smaller and you can find flights for cheap.

Kelly: So you can go places. So what was your favorite country that you visited?

Kyra: That’s really hard. I love Italy just because of the food.  I loved like Krakow, Poland. It was like a university city, it was the dead of winter when I went with my friend, [00:11:00] but it was fun. The food was eclectic, the people  were eclectic. I also really liked Germany, I was surprised at how much I liked the colder places cause I’m from Texas and I was like, Oh no, I’m going to like everything warm, but.

Kelly: So interesting. Right. 

Sari: Hey everyone. This is Sari from the Skills Baby team, and I’m here to tell you about the upcoming events that Skill’s Baby is hosting in the coming weeks. We’re going to be diving deeper into the future of work and the future of education, which in other words is the future of skills. If you want to be a part of the conversation, head to skillsbaby.com/events to register.

We would love to have you.   

Kelly:  So tell me, I’m so curious to hear more about your podcast and of course, like BlackSpace is really interesting to me because I’m working on a project right now in Columbia, South Carolina. And I went to school in South Carolina and it’s just really fascinating, I think in general a lot of [00:12:00] regions are trying to figure out how to support , what I would say, referencing vulnerable populations. Anyone that’s in a situation that’s like on unemployment, needs help, feeling left out in some way.

And I find in doing some of the interviews that we have with these regions, a lot of times it’s that the right people are not having the right conversations and they’re struggling bridging the gap like culture. I mean, even though they live in the same area, right. But like a culture gap depending on what you look like.

 Kyra: As I said, we do panels with various types of groups, businesses as well. But this manifesto enables you to walk in a way in which you are empathizing or at least listening to those, actively listening, to those who are. It’s one of the principles, is be a humble listener. And that is that you actively listen, but also like you don’t listen to respond. You listened to, to actually listen.

Kelly: Right? Some people, I want to [00:13:00] actually touch on this a moment, because this is really an actual important skill to consider. Is that a lot of times when people are talking to you, you tend to think about what you want to say. It’s just very natural to do. And especially for us who do public speaking, sometimes you have to be okay with the fact that you might not have the right thing to say, right when it’s your turn and pausing is totally fine.

But that concept of active listening is like, you need to say, Nope, I’m not going to think about the next thing. I’m going to really listen to what this person has to say and then the empathy side is like putting yourself in that person’s shoes. Like if I experienced this, how would I feel? And being able to see and respond in a different way, and you don’t have to have the right things to say, that goes back to that perfection piece. I wanted to touch on that because actually a hugely important skill in life and for work.

Kyra: It’s huge. And it’s something that we all know is important, but we don’t always do. And so it’s [00:14:00] about that. BlackSpace also has a Brownsville toolkit that is for planners and architects, if you are working in communities and doing community building. 

Kelly: So is it like a bundle of, of resources?

Kyra: We do customized workshops, we do design seretse, we do like panel discussions just about what impact or what way in which you can work in equity, and inclusion, in a way or work spaces.  It’s one of those organizations that we’re doing so much in the community.

We also do like neighborhood strategy studies. We do urbanist experiences like brunches and also get togethers and where we do activities and ways in which you can like open the doors for communication.

Kelly: That’s such a fantastic, like I really do. I think it’s so great. I’m trying to create pictures in my mind when people tell me things, I’m trying to create this picture.

Do we do call it like training? 

Kyra: Yeah. I would also just call it their experiences  or just discussions and trainings.

[00:15:00] Kelly: That’s great.  I’m so glad you shared this because besides the project that I’m working on, which is like one small piece, so many people are trying to work on these types of projects.

And I think it’s just to know that there’s this type of resource out there. And so is the website blackspace.com?

Kyra: Yeah.

Kelly: Yeah? Cool. So tell us about your podcast.

Kyra: Okay. So my podcast, No Country For Moving, also is about emmigrants and immigrants. So immigrants with the I and E.  It is also about marginalized communities, it’s about unheard stories, it’s about elevating those stories cause I’m passionate about that. I love having conversations and learning about people and their cultures and backgrounds so I just figured why not bring it to a podcast.

It’s been a passion project. I met people through friends who wanted to talk and then I’ve spoken to friends and now it’s branching out to more people. And it’s about empathy as well. And it’s [00:16:00] a skillset that I like definitely have in me.  

Kelly: Well, we’re coming close to the end of our time here. And I wanted to just give you a moment. I know open-ended questions tend to be a little, I feel like you can handle it though knowing your improv background. So I just want to give you some space to share.

Is there anything else you’d like to share with the audience about your work? You know, things that you’ve learned over time?

Kyra: I think my big thing is right now, I’ve leaned into No Country for Moving and also sharing the stories of others. I’m all about amplifying. And I do think it’s incredibly crucial that we walk in a world with an empathetic eye and that we are more cognizant of the struggles of those that we don’t typically see.

And in those communities that are often put to the side, particularly Black and Brown and the immigrant. And so just having these conversations and talking about mental health, which is a struggle in the Black community, because it’s [00:17:00] stigmatized. Having conversation about travel, which is not often, like I did not see a lot of black women traveling, and it’s not because we can’t travel.

There’s no economic disparities, there’s struggles, there’s all their cultural and systemic oppression and racism that makes it difficult. So I know my life is one that is much more privileged. One that I worked hard for and saved and made it happen. But whether it is, you can travel physically, traveling in your mind through books, through stories or audio stories of conversations are important.

Everyone’s like glorifying the whole, I went to this place and a lot of people won’t be able to do that, but you can go, you can travel to those places by movies, by audiobooks, by reading and that’s one thing as we’re moving into a space of like more digital world, I hope that everyone is also still making an effort to really like broaden their mind in a way that will lead to a better society. I mean, I sound idealistic, but that’s the goal with everything I do, leave a place better than what it was [00:18:00] before.

And I see good things. This country’s been through the ringer and I just believe that it was for a reason and it has to get better. Everything has to get better in some way, but we have to make it better. These conversations, this is like a step in the direction of making it better.

Like we have the power to do so. So I hope that everyone believes that. And that is my message.

Kelly: Thank you. That is so wonderful for you to share.  I just want to let everyone know where to find Kyra she’s available on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. And her podcast, No Country For Moving is available on iTunes and Spotify. And if you’d like to follow with some updates, it is also on Instagram. Definitely listen in because I’m telling you, it is really heartwarming stories and. I really think sharing stories that from every walk of life is so important. Although not everyone always has internet, it turns out most people have cell phones, [00:19:00] surprisingly enough. So free access to podcasts is potentially available. Again, thank you so much Kyra. I appreciate it.

 You’ve been listening to Let’s Talk About Skills, Baby, a Growth Network Podcast production. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast and share it with your community. Ratings, reviews and suggestions are great sources of feedback and always appreciated. Please reach out and connect with me on social at Kelly Ryan Bailey.

I’d love to meet you and continue the conversation. We’ll be back next week with a new episode so until then keep growing your skills and have a great day.